Open Letter to Taco Bueno

Dear Mr. Bueno,

We, the peoples of North Richland Hills, Texas, love and appreciate the longtime commitment that you have kept toward the presence of mediocre Tex-Mex fast food in our community. You have won our hearts and the better halves of our BMIs from the foul addictions of sleazier restaurants such as Taco Bell and Taco Casa.

However, I am not writing this today to simply praise the high ethics that you have demonstrated toward your loving customers. Instead, I seek to gather attention to a problem which may contradict said affection.

Today, when I drove through your drive-thru, I was received cordially by a cheerful pre-recorded welcome. I quickly went about ordering my food, until the dreaded question came out of my server’s mouth: “Would you like hot sauce with that?” My pulse quickened. A clear “No, thank you” drifted out of my mouth, but I knew it was useless. I pulled around to the window, amidst a ever-growing fear as to the contents of my bag. I paid the cashier, received my order, and opened up the bag.

What I saw, Mr. Bueno, I can safely call the Bane of The Loyal Consumer. Put simply, I received hot sauce. I specifically had asked for no hot sauce. Why did I get hot sauce, when none was asked for? But alas, it was not even that simple. I had received, not one, not two nor even three hot sauces. Four hot sauce containers, Mr. Bueno. Four. Aside from not wanting them, the containers are of, ahem, crappy construction. They fall apart when you try to remove them from your bag, when you throw them away, any time. They leak all over the contents of my perfect number five combo meal.

Please, Mr. Bueno, hear my plea. Hear the pleas of thousands of loyal customers around the world, crying out for justice. We don’t want hot sauce with that, no, we don’t. Save your tomatos and petrochemical plastics for a better use, Mr. Bueno. We’re begging you.

Regards,

A Loyal Consumer