Jesus and the Decremental Thousands

Hmm…

Most people have heard the story of Jesus feeding the Five Thousand (Mark 6:30-44). It’s mentioned in all four Gospels (the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Some people have even heard the story of Jesus feeding the Four Thousand (Mark 8:1-10), which is only mentioned in two Gospels (Matthew and Mark).

Well, I’m reading through Mark right now. Shortly after Jesus feeds the Four Thousand, he speaks to the disciples. The original text is from Mark 8:14-21, but I’m going to paraphrase it.

The disciples were getting out of a boat on the other side of the sea when they realized “Hey! We forgot the bread! We only have one stinking loaf!”

Jesus, standing nearby, overheard them and added, “Hey guys: Watch out for the yeast of the religious leaders and the king.”

They were all like, “Huh?” and stood around scratching their heads until one bright guys said “Oh! He means that because we have no bread!”

Jesus sighed and shook his head “Seriously, guys? How did you get that out of what I was saying? Are you still taking everything I say literally? I’m speaking metaphorically. And do you not remember what I just did like five verses ago?

“Alright, I’ll help you out here: When I took those five loaves of bread and fed five thousand people with ‘em, how many basketfuls were left over?”

“Uh, twelve?” they replied

“Good!” Jesus replied, “What about when I fed the four thousand? How many basketfuls were left over then?”

“Seven!” one responded enthusiastically.

Jesus smiled and nodded. “Okay. Now do you get it? Am I gonna have to feed the Three Thousand next?”

That’s my interpretation. As I’m reading, I keep noticing that the apostles sound like idiots and suck-ups almost all the time. Then you have Jesus, who is this guy who is just trying to teach the love, grace and mercy that the world needs, while trying to make sure that his followers understand. Jesus said earlier (I can’t find which verse it was) that he always speaks in riddles for the masses of followers, while he tries to explain things for his closest followers, the apostles, as much as he can. I can’t help but think that he is tempted to get annoyed and impatient with them. I mean, seriously. The apostles are the ones who are supposed to “go and make disciples of all nations” after Jesus is gone, and they have trouble understanding a lot of what Jesus is saying.